So sick....

Since Monday night I've done nothing.....Every day I wake up and clock-watch until my husband can come home and take my daughter off my hands. I can't remember the last time I was this sick. I think I have borderline pneumonia! No energy, my chest is sore and I'm bringing up things I've never seen before. Today is the first day I haven't been sweating with chills since Monday. I finally slept a bit last night but only with the help of some serious medication. I feel so guilty that I've been such a bad mother to my daughter - she has been amazing with me this week! I also have a huge guilt trip that I keep giving myself simply because I STILL haven't made it to the gym yet.....I am so angry!
I hate being sick - and now I'll sink back into my pity party.....

Feelin good!!!!

I know it was only a 2 pound weight loss this week - but man I feel good! Motivated, Strong!
Maybe it's because IT has started!
By IT, I mean the hustle and bustle of Christmas and the holidays! The overeating, eating out, the I'm too lazy and too busy to cook, so let's order in; the mall food; the party food; the sweets, cookies and baked goods that aren't around all year long; the cold, winter, snowy days where the absolute LAST thing you want to do is exercise! The time of year where you have every excuse to get fatter and fatter!!!!! and you know what? I lost weight! Hee Hee! This is doable!
If I make no other goals this month - I just don't want to gain anything....I want to beat this and prove it to myself that I can get through the hardest time of year without gaining. If I can do it this month, why couldn't I do it every other month?

Just a thought.....

It's Been a while...again....

because again I've fallen off the wagon - I can't seem to get this......why is this so difficult for me? I feel so low and guilty and like I will never be able to do this.....so then I eat and it makes me feel better for a millisecond (because i love food) but then i feel guilty for eating......

I need some serious motivation and determination to YET AGAIN START OVER!!!!!

So, after 2 days of talking (whining and crying) to my hubby about my weight and losing it - he came home with the most amazing thing.....a corporate gym membership to Goodlife Fitness, and that's not all ladies and gentlemen, he brought home a brand new pair of asics running shoes. What did I do to deserve this man? He is so supportive and amazing with everything. He just goes with the flow of whatever I am feeling.....
but back to the gift - there were 2 problems - Number 1, The membership didn't start until January.....I figure I'll be up another 10 lbs if I let it go until then! So, Goodlife is offering a $14 for 14 days deal and what do you know, my hubby gets that too - "In case I wanted to start early" - Could he be any sweeter? Perfect! Problem 2 - and this is the big one - getting my big behind there without feeling intimidated and embarrassed. I don't get it, before I've never been embarrassed like this to do active things - why now? Is it partly having a baby? the changes my body has gone through? I'm not sure, but all I know is that I need to do it.....Here's hoping I can get up the courage to go tomorrow!
Wish me luck, and motivation if you can......

The Scale

Ya, This whole weighing myself 2-3 times a day thing is just not working for me anymore. It's depressing and I really don't know what I'm expecting? Like a weight loss of 10 pounds in a day. I need to trust my body here a realize that if I'm eating good and exercising, the weight will come off no matter what! Bye to the scale until weekly weigh-ins.....It's better for me this way - Can i do it though? Such a weird habit to want to break!

November 16th - Meals

Breakfast:
2 Low Fat Waffles
1 tsp Light Syrup
3/4 Banana
3 c. Green Tea

Snack:
Yogurt, FF, SF
1 sm orange
2 c. Water

Lunch:
Large Salad with tomatoes, peppers, onions, chicken, low fat cheese
1 tbsp Light Vinaigrette
1 c. strawberries
4 c. water

Snack:
V8
3 Stalks Celery with 2 Light laughing cow Cheese
2 c. water

Dinner:
Turkey Tacos - 3 (Light Cheese, Salsa, FF Sour Cream, lettuce, mushrooms)
Salad Greens
1 tbsp light dressing
4 c. water

Other:
1 40 min walk in afternoon
1 40 min walk in evening
2 c. water

Last Night...

SOOOOOO....I feel really good today - very motivated to do the exercise thing. I absolutely LOVED the walk we took last night. We ended up taking a new trail and that's exactly what it was - a trail, not a street, not one of the boring walking paths that you can see miles and miles ahead of you -  and I completely learned something about myself. As I was walking this trail last night with hubby and baby in tow, I lost track of time and before I knew it 45 mins had gone by, and I didn't think twice about it. Now, maybe a little back story is in order here, so, I can start that by saying that when exercising, whether it be walking, swimming, or any physical activity - I NEVER lose track of time, quite the contrary, I am constantly looking at the clock, thinking when will this be over, how much longer and has it been enough yet? So the fact that none of those things popped into my head last night, taught me that I really, truly enjoyed myself and in order for this exercise thing to work for me is to find the few things that I would get out of bed to do! Right now, that is hiking on trails and not your standard pounding the pavement.....very boring!

My Meals Today! An ongoing process.....

Breakfast:
Oatmeal with Splenda
3/4 Banana (other 1/4 went to my daughter )
2 c. Green Tea

Snack:
1 serving Triscuits
1 Laughing Cow Cheese - Light
2 c. Water

Lunch:
Large Spinach Salad with Light Feta, Onions, Croutons, Cherry Tomatoes
1 Tbsp. Light Onion Vinaigrette
Yogurt - FF, SF
4 c. Water

Snack:
Gala Apple - Sliced
1 tbsp. Light Peanut Butter
2 c. Water

Dinner:
Roasted Chicken Breast
1 serving Mashed Potatoes
Green Beans with Slivered Almonds
Broccoli
Roll with Light butter
4 c. Water

Other:
4 more cups of tea/water during the day
45 mins walking

Wow - It's so much food!  But I really feel that if I track it like this, that it will keep me on the wagon!