It was my choice to get fat....and it's my choice to lose the weight.

Just a musing that I felt like posting....
What a concept huh? To think after all of the struggling I've had with my weight, that it could all be because of my choices to BE fat? That I chose this life?
After doing some searching of other's inspirational blogs and YouTube posts of people trying to lose weight just like me, and this is what I've come to realize, that I did choose it, but I'm not entirely sure why. I'm not sure why food became my comfort or why I resort to it when I'm stressed. I didn't have a hard childhood, I've never had a problem making friends or even having a man in my life. Though I was a little overweight in high school (certainly not what I am now) I was never teased and instead had a great group of supportive friends and participated in activities and sports with vigor, as my weight was never an issue, even for me. I am a hard worker in other areas of my life. I did not grow up with money, but put myself through college and eventually started my own business successfully at the age of 19. After 6 years of the business, I knew I wanted to start a family, so I decided to take a job in the government to receive parental leave. I did struggle to conceive and when we were about to start the testing processes on myself, that is when we learned we were finally pregnant. Flash forward a year of pregnancy and now with a 3 month old infant, the weight just doesn't fall off like it has with every one of my girlfriends. I know, unrealistic expectations, but I breastfed solely and figured it would help. It didn't.
Now with a 6 1/2 month old, my stomach feels like jello, and my motivation is dwindling along with the time I have left to lose weight (In my mind I wanted to lose a significant amount before heading back to work - I am off for a year for goodness sake.) So, again it gets me thinking, why did I choose to eat that or choose not to go for a walk or to take a nap when my daughter is sleeping, when she slept the night before just fine? Why can't I drink all the water I should or choose to eat a second helping? Why am I choosing to be fat? Is it comforting? NO! Am I in control? Not in the least!
So maybe if I put it into a series of choices.....Just make it simple and always make it about the best choice and think about why I would want to make the unhealthy choice. I've never thought of it like that....Have you?